Dear Annie: One heated argument has me rethinking 13 years with my husband

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been together for 13 years and married for 10. We’ve always had what I believed was a stable, loving relationship. In all that time, we’ve only had a handful of arguments — certainly nothing major or frequent.

But recently, during a heated disagreement, he said something that completely shattered me. In the middle of our fight, he looked at me and said, “The last 10 years have been a miserable marriage.”

I was stunned. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It felt like the floor dropped out from under me. Afterward, he apologized and claimed he only said it in anger — that he didn’t mean it — but I can’t seem to let it go. That sentence keeps echoing in my head, and now I find myself questioning everything about our marriage.

Did he really mean it? Has he secretly been miserable all this time? Or was it just a cruel thing said in the heat of the moment? I don’t want to overreact, but I also can’t seem to move past it. I feel deeply hurt and disconnected, and for the first time, I’m seriously considering leaving.

How do I process something like this? How do you move forward when a single sentence makes you question over a decade of your life? — Blindsided and Broken

Dear Blindsided and Broken: What your husband said was cruel, no matter how angry he was. Telling someone the last 10 years were miserable isn’t something you can just shrug off — and you shouldn’t have to.

Yes, people say things they don’t mean in the heat of the moment, but even angry words often reveal deeper feelings. His apology was a start, but it doesn’t erase the damage.

Talk to him calmly and directly. Ask him if he truly meant what he said or if there’s something deeper going on. If you’re still left feeling hurt and unsure, seek the help of a marriage counselor.

Leaving a marriage is a big step. Don’t rush, but don’t ignore your feelings either. You deserve honesty, respect and peace of mind.