Dear Annie: My cleaning lady doesn’t respect my boundaries

Dear Annie: About a year and a half ago, my husband’s uncle helped us hire a cleaning lady. My husband and I both work, so this cleaning lady comes one Saturday a month because that’s our shared day off. We pay her good money, and she does a pretty good job. The only problem I have is that she asks very personal questions.

My husband and I are usually very quiet around her. We always offer her something to drink when she arrives. She eventually asks us very personal questions, and we always answer politely, but she has to detect that my husband and I get annoyed.

Some of the questions include, “How long have you worked at your current job? Oh, you got a new bed? Are you going to work after I leave? Where did you get that shampoo?” etc.

She seems like the snippy type, so my husband and I are quiet after the initial “How are you?” and “Would you like a drink of water or something?”

We always offer a drink as I mentioned because it’s the kind thing to do. To us, it seems this lady is trying to be our friend, and we feel it’s not appropriate.

Being kind and courteous is a must in my opinion, but we know nothing about her (my husband’s uncle helped us hire her through an online site, and I do trust his judgment).

I’m afraid to get too personal because I feel it goes against our boundaries. She is there to clean. Respect should obviously be given on both sides, and she is getting paid. That’s how I feel it should stay. What is your opinion? — Guarded in Aspen

Dear Guarded in Aspen: Keep up your short, vague replies and try making yourself scarce when she’s there to limit room for conversation in the first place. If she still doesn’t pick up these subtle cues, verbalize your boundaries firmly to her. You’re paying for a service, not a friendship with this woman. It’s more than fair to want to keep things pleasant but professional.