Dear Annie: I just want to enjoy my wine without being judged

Dear Annie: When my boyfriend decided to get serious about his health earlier this year — cleaner eating, regular workouts — I was super proud of him. I cheered him on and swapped out our snacks without complaint. For the first few months, it brought out the best in him.

But somewhere along the way, his personal reboot turned into an ongoing critique of me. If I bring home a loaf of bakery bread, he reminds me how “simple carbs kill energy.” If I skip a workout because I’m tired, he sighs with disapproval. Last week he told me my evening glass of wine was “a bad coping mechanism for stress.” Annie, sometimes I just want a glass of wine!

I’ve tried telling him that I’m happy he’s feeling good, but I don’t want my entire lifestyle audited. He insists he’s only trying to motivate me to be the “best version” of myself.

How do I encourage his healthy habits without letting him turn me into his latest improvement project? — Fit To Be Tired

Dear Fit To Be Tired: Physical health matters, but so do emotional and social health. Your relationship isn’t thriving if he’s grading your bread and wine choices. A partner lifts you up; a critic hands out report cards. Celebrate his healthy habits — but remind him he doesn’t get to be the coach of yours.

Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.